Emotions can be grave,
Or they can be exillerating.
The emotions I hold towards you
Are beautiful and life changing
Everyone has a significant other
Perhaps you're my designated lover.
I can collaborate our love a thousand times
Or I can stop critiquing and let my heart fly
I'm afraid of skinny and gorgeous girls,
Because they may just steal your heart.
I can promise you one thing honey,
I love you and I'll continue to be here.
Rain splatters against the window sill,
Thunder breaks my guard and I crash into you
Like a young lovebird experiencing wings,
It takes off in flight with their mate.
If I had to pick out your best feature,
I'd truthfully say everything.
But if I had to pick just one in the end
I'd pick your beautiful, strong, seducing shoulders
You don't need a fast car or lots of money
To experience the love inside my heart.
Darling, what do you see when you look at me?
Am I worth everything you possess, even a simple kiss?
I have my insecurities and I'm hard on myself,
But you still keep my heart beating.
I may get turned on fairly easy,
But I love you more for never abusing me.
Throw down the curtains and let's set the mood
We can lay on a matress and get lost in the blankets.
Slow down the tempo of our romantized love,
Without a solid pace it could fall apart in an instant.
The honest truth is that I'm not close to letting you go,
We have an attraction towards each other that I hunger for.
I don't know what it is about you, but I can't help but love you
Whether I hold your hand, or lay in bed, the feelings are always there.
Everything you tell me has an emotional impact
You have access to my vulrenability and deepest secrets.
Hold the soul of my fragile life in your hands,
I know you'll do everything to protect it till the end
My underlying gratitude towards you is unmeasurable
No iris or red rose can compare to your beauty,
The stunning effect is more powerful than the moon and sun combined,
But once more I must remind you that I love you.
Music Player
Friday, August 5, 2011
Sunday, April 24, 2011
I could pray for help,
But God wouldn't care.
It's two a.m.
And I'm breaking down.
Emotions show like scars on flesh,
And the heart rests in broken pieces.
Remaining invisible to the human eye,
But burns like a fire's ashes.
Jack Daniel's brings a minute's comfort
Until the dark reincarnates the sorrow.
They say mirrors capture the soul,
But mine's only bitter and black.
Eyes of sympathy are focused on me
Pittying the depression I with hold inside.
Society's a bitch and everyone knows it,
Can you see the ribs through my skin yet?
You can't trust anyone in this town
Everyone's only jealous and selfish
There's only one exception,
And his name is Patrick.
We connect like fireworks on July fourth,
But like everything else, we burn out.
Were are not stupid emo kids like in shows,
We're just emotional, misunderstood young adults.
There's a light in his eyes,
And I praise Troy for that.
But I know that he's still stuggling inside,
And the nights still eat him alive.
Every rose has its thorn,
And every heart breaks.
Depression is a suicide note
That's overcome by wisdom.
I love you Patrick Ford,
Remember to smell the flowers
And sharpen your blades,
The sun will remain to rise.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
They say time heals the broken
At least, that's what they tell me.
But it's never healed me,
I just keep sitting here waiting.
I miss everything I had,
His smile and his love.
But that's all gone now,
When I close my eyes it re-appears
I can't tell him that I miss him
Or that I long to be with him,
It wouldn't matter
All his feelings are in the past.
I know what it's like,
To feel broken, unloved and helpless
It's a brilliant nature
That can only be sympathized
I tried to move on,
I fell flat on my face.
I can't seem to get up
And the ground's suffocating.
I love you Joshua,
And I need you back.
I'm sorry we ended
But I'll stay if you ask me to.
Say you love me more
Then you ever have before.
I can't sleep without crying,
Or breathe without crushing.
Can't you feel the pain I do,
The feeling of depression.
The hole in my chest is back,
And it's only aching for you.
Please come back,
I'll be yours forever
And if you don't want me
I suppose I'll be okay.
I just don't understand
Why you no longer want me,
But I'll never know
You already said your goodbye.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Broken and discouraged
The effects of depression.
Suicide rotates in the mind
Suddenly hallucinations are real life.
For any relief of being numb
A shiny new blade is present,
But cure for feelings of want
Love appears only dismantled.
Now, tell me, what's worse;
Being burned alive,
Or frozen to death?
Neither, we still rot below ground.
Despair and loneliness
Is pleasure to happiness.
Music is a solid escape,
But only 'till the alarm clock rings.
You're distant and alone,
Screaming on your knees
As you stumble in the mud,
But what are you looking for?
Dreams crumble beneath us,
Blood runs from consequence.
Mental breakdowns cause explosions,
An endless disaster of corruption.
Eyeliner stains the rosy cheeks
As infinite tears stream constant.
My eyes are nothing but mournful,
Does that explain how my day goes?
Saturday, March 12, 2011
That poem means nothing to you, I know it doesn't.
Why?
Because I'm just another girl that you look to destroy.
Since the day we first dated, you were already cheating.
You were texting other girls that I didn't know about,
How do I know this?
It's pretty obvious when a guy freaks out that his girlfriend has his phone
You left at the most random times when we were together,
Why?
You probably got attached to one of those other girls.
I'm not stupid, I'm not worthless, I'm just rational.
Rational enough to know that I love you,
Love the pain that you give me and the love you fake.
You said your days playing games were over and done with,
You lied.
You lied once, you lied twice, you even lied a third time.
I've always been lied to, I've been cheated on and I've been ignored.
But you're something different.
You must feel like you have to play girls hearts, but you're wrong.
You don't have to do anything, you're a runner and you always leap away.
I said I would be your friend, but I can't stand being bluntly lied to.
I can't. It almost killed me once, and I'd rather not have it happen again.
But I can't date you, I won't marry you, and you aren't deserving.
Why?
Because you can't even tell me that you're talking to girls,
Flirting, kissing, and sleeping with them.
I''m not to be played with like a toy, ever.
And yet you're still wondering why I take you back all the time,
The truth is, I thought you'd change each time.
A blast from loneliness into companionship.
A flower blooms in the summer and
It's beautiful and dominant
Just like mother nature intended.
Nothing could ever be more delicate than you,
You're feautres are nothing but symmetrical.
A train is fast and sturdy as it travels a distance
My heart is a captivating simile of that.
Nothing is more enchancted than your kiss,
Sweet, powerful, and seductive in the same breath.
You have me in a trance of persuasion,
Of lust and love combined with your elegant touch.
Danger and recklessness is underlined and bolded
But I'll risk my life to see your smile surround me.
There's a note at the bottom and it reads pre-caution,
Pre-caution of what? Endless Serotonin?
Danger is fun when I'm with you,
Love is endless when I'm beside you.
I feel happiness when I'm held by you,
And endless depression when you're gone.
I won't have to take any Tylenol,
No gun shots or knife cuts,
Nothing malicious when you're here,
But only everything amazing instead.
Keep your windows open,
And your doors unlocked
I'll sneak in around midnight
So I can fall asleep with you.
I want to lay here with you,
As still as grass in the winter.
I can't believe I'm with you
Captured in your arms of love.
The intentions of your words
Are true and meaningful
You appear to me like
A beautiful soliloquy
I love you in my life
You give me hope to live,
And power to get up in the morning
So I can see your pretty face.
Our passion for each other
Is a lullaby stuck on repeat
As we dance in the meadows
That separates our houses.
I can't imagine life,
Life without you,
Life without me,
Life without us together.
Emotions are louder than words
Louder than gunshots in an open alley.
I can see inside of your heart
And your emotions are bleeding love.
I could rip out your heart
And replace it with my own,
But that be cruel and cannibalistic
So instead, I'll simply just kiss you.
The truth is if you weren't mine
I would be tempted to steal you,
Like a chocolate muffin in the kitchen
And I would keep you forever.
Someone once said that religion is the heart of the world we live in, and whoever said that was right.
Now, I know what most of you must be thinking, is she going to stand up there and inform us about her religion? Well you'd be wrong, I'm going to stand before you all and hope that you'll take what I have to say into your own personal education.
My religion is not Christian, in fact, it is the complete opposite of most people in the world.
I have a higher power and his name is Lucifer, which most, if not all of you know him as the Devil.
Lucifer. Scary name isn't it?
Well not exactly; the only thing that makes you squirm at that name is the information society has told you. The misjudged information that insults Satanists all over the world.
I stand before you to challenge the wisdom of the world and question your ethics and morals. Every God has a story and I'm about to tell you the Devil's.
To this day, most Christians and other religions believe that God created Adam and Eve and they were the first two people to roam the Earth. Satanists would say that this is tampered with information -- believe it or not, the old story you've been told is missing a key point. God created a man named Adam and a women named Lilith. When God made these two people he asked the garrison of angels to love these humans more than he.
Lucifer said no.
He loved God too much and refused to bow down to humanity. When Lucifer disobeyed God he turned Lilith into the first demon ever created, to which the Arch Angel Michael forced Lucifer to fall from glory down into a darkened pit called Hell, where he remains bounded behind 666 seals.
God then created Eve so that the world could carry on with the human race like the way he first envisioned it.
Lucifer appears to many as a horrible creature who causes the evil in the world.
Satan is evil?
Look at how many people and animals die each day because of "God's will". The word "Devil" originated from the Indian word "devi" which means "god" not evil.
I see Lucifer as a strong, beautiful, misunderstood dark lord who is a kind and generous God who should be worshipped.
The God in Heaven made the four Horsemen: Pestilence, Death, Famine, and War, and mostly everyone on Earth has to endure the pain of each one which they live through out their lives.
Lucifer is not evil nor a threat -- he's common sense.
I stand before you today to tell you some laws of Satanism. You will soon come to realize that they aren't a form of blasphemy, but instead a code of morals.
1. To start with, do not give your opinions or advice to someone else unless you are asked to do so.
2. Do not tell your problems to others unless you are positive that they want to hear about them.
3. When you are present in someone's house, show them respect or do not go there.
4. Do not take what does not belong to you unless it is a burden for the other person and they're relieved you did so.
5. Do not harm little children.
6. Do not kill animals unless you're being attacked or using them as food.
7. When walking into a public area, bother no one. If someone is to bother you, ask them to stop. If they fail to do so, destroy them.
8. And finally, do unto others as they do unto you.
Humans are animals by nature.
We're frail people who have the seven deadly sins present inside of us. God teaches his believers to hold back from the most enjoyable things in life, as opposed to the Dark Lord who teaches indulgence; to take what you want without regret, to find pleasure in something and do it to the most extreme extent you can.
However, indulgence is not consumption.
The God many people have faith in states that if one or more of the seven deadly sins -- lust, gluttony, pride, greed, sloth, envy, and wrath -- are committed, it is seen as disobedience and/or disgrace. Lucifer recognizes that humans have wants and needs inside of themselves, and he is a representation of all these so-called sins. These all lead to physical, mental, and emotional gratification.
Lucifer may be the Devil, but only by fear and societal misconception.
I have always followed two important passages that I have adopted from the Dark Lord. Number one, lack of perspective is crutial because someone should never lose sight of who and what they are, and what threat they can be by their existence. And lastly, herd conformity should never be pursued. Do not follow the path of the crowd surrounding you, and never conform to a person's wishes unless it benefits you in the end.
At the end of the day, regardless of who has a religion, you need to believe in it no matter what happens in your life, whether that be good or bad. Someone should never lose faith in their higher power even if society believes that your God is a threat to human nature.
Please consider all that I have said. You can call me a disturbance to society but I'm only asking for respect and understanding. I have a religion that I'll always believe in.
Monday, February 28, 2011
I can't believe this all happened,
One minute it was rainbows and butterflies
And then it all turned into a slaughter house
Making the ground stain a dark red,
Whiskey and tylenol are anti-depressants,
Pistols and razor blades are long lost friends.
I can't calculate the amount of blood you've lost
But the carpet floor suggests a lot.
I tried to hold onto you with everything I had
But you slipped away from my tight grasp.
The sharp knife in your hand is taunting you,
And without a second thought the blood pours down.
This isn't a story of fairy-tail,
It's the ending of a life.
There's blood running down the streets
But the Devil's rolling in on vengence.
Demons will be singing the lullaby;
'Cry yourself to sleep baby,
The shadows in the darkness
Will kill you before sunrise'.
I've always been a fan of indulgence
So sweetheart go take what you want,
Stab the guilty and kiss the innocent
But don't forget to smile pretty.
I should have never fallen for those lies
It's like seeing a train and standing in the way,
The mind will remain crushed and broken
While the heart inside shatters away to nothing.
Death is such a parting sorrow,
And the horsemen makes it all possible.
There's no bright light, only black onyx
Who needs Heaven? We want Hell.
Blood, guts, and glory are lovely,
Your head on a stick sounds pretty.
Only, you're alive and vital
Is it time for some dismantle?
When you halluclnate you see only me
I'm wearing a white wedding gown and veil.
Your choking on your thoughtful vows,
I'm laughing as blood drips from your mouth.
There's no need to say you're sorry honey
Everyone already knows what you did,
I just hope she's good in bed
Because your fiance just walked away.
So, baby listen to my carefully
And spare me the heart ache,
Mess with a witch and you get burned
Liar.
I can't sleep with this ache
Eating me away inside my chest
I made a mistake and I'm sorry,
Those songs were all improvised.
I miss my future husband,
Are you still my fiance?
I don't deserve better than you
I deserve nothing for what I did
I know saying sorry
Deosn't make any of this okay,
I based those songs off of
The band Emmure and their lyrics
I know I hurt you
But I never meant to,
None of those words I wrote are true
Except "I fucking love you"
I hate myself so much
And what's worse is knowing
That I fucked up so bad
That you left
You said you can't do this anymore
But I still don't understand,
We got engaged hours earlier
Only for you to take it back
As strange as it may be,
I can see us sitting on a porch
Watching our grand-children play
While we sit old and grey.
I can't see life without you,
And I know you still love me
I make your heart beat fast,
Will you please give me a second chance?
Friday, February 25, 2011
Love is a series of events,
Some pleasant and some painful,
But going through everything with you
Makes it seem a lot worth while
I know I fucked up
And I know you did too,
But I don't care about that
The only thing that matters is this,
This love, this passion, this fire inside us
I go wild for the though of seeing you,
The thought of dancing with you
But I'm afraid I broke too many balloons
Balloons of romance and wanting,
Lyrics in songs are for entertainment
They hide deeper feelings beneath curtains,
I made a mistake and I'm paying for it
I know I write you too many poems
But it's the only romantic thing I know,
Honestly, I can't imagine life without you
Wandering around helpless in the world
But then I think of the times we've had
The laughter and the love we shared,
I can't make anything I've done dissapear
But I can't help myself but hope,
If it's not too late to cherish our love
Can I ask you something?
I'm so madly in love with you Josh,
Will you marry me?
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Verse One:
(Screamed) Our love,
Is dying like the flowers in the vase
(Screamed) With fire,
(Echoed) That burns everything in vain
Our souls are being haunted
With the reincarnation of love
(Screamed) I remember all your fuckin' lies
But your so beautiful in the night
Chorus:
Until you see me draped in colour
(Whispered) I'll be dancing in the shadows
I'll be writing analogies on sheets of paper
(Screamed) Using blood from the floor as ink
(Screamed) Don't let me be alone
(Screamed) No,
This reflection is flawed
(Echoed) My heart's not in my fuckin' chest
Verse Two:
And if my body turns you on
We can move into the bedroom
(Screamed) Where there's red roses
(Whispered) Surrounded by white wine
We can stay there all night
(Screamed) `Till the sun rises and
Shines through the curtains with colours
(Echoed) That make the fuckin' ground bleed
Chorus:
Until you see me draped in colour
(Whispered) I'll be dancing in the shadows
I'll be writing analogies on sheets of paper
(Screamed) Using blood from the floor as ink
(Screamed) Don't let me be alone
(Screamed) No,
This reflection is flawed
(Echoed) My heart's not in my fuckin' chest.
Bridge:
(Screamed) Your eyes,
Are vacant of everything
(Echoed) Why am I standing here
If you don't even (Screamed) love me.
I didn't ask to love you
You're as complicated as a road map
(Screamed) I hate our fucking love
But I love the pain of the heart ache
End Verse:
(Screamed) Don't let me be alone
(Screamed) No,
This reflection is flawed
(Echoed) There's no heart in my fuckin' chest
(Screamed) It's in yours instead
Verse One:
(Whispered) My eyes are scarred of horror,
My ears are broken of disturbance
(Quietly screamed) Telling me you love me,
(Growled) Is a fucking slap in the face.
(Low screams) I see the guilt on your face
It's all your fault and (Screamed) you're sorry
Well you know what?
(Screamed) You can go suck on John's dick.
Chorus:
(Low screams) Let me burn the house down,
With the past locked in the closet
(Screamed) I'll scream I need you
(Whispered) And throw out these fuckin' razors
Without you beside me
My lungs are failing
(Weak echoes) I surrendered my love to you
(Screamed) And you burned it to ash at my feet.
Verse Two:
I'll fill this vial,
(Screamed) With blood from my wrist
(Echoed) Only to pour it down your throat
To make you taste what you missed.
(Echoed) You're a cannibal of love
(Whispered) You kissed my soul from the inside out,
That whiskey you drank is tinted with death
(Screamed) And now your falling to the ground
Chorus:
(Low screams) Let me burn the house down,
With the past locked in the closet
(Screamed) I'll scream I need you
(Whispered) And throw out these fuckin' razors
Without you beside me
My lungs are failing
(Weak echoes) I surrendered my love to you
(Screamed) And you burned it to ash at my feet.
Bridge:
You told me you were mine forever
(Screamed) You fucking lied from your heart
(Echoed) And if I had it my way,
(Screamed) Lucifer would rip you to shreads.
Everything I've been fuckin' waiting for
Has come to a complete and bitter end
(Screamed) It's time to take your knife from my back
(Echoed screams) And slam it up your fucking ass.
Chorus:
(Low screams) Let me burn the house down,
With the past locked in the closet
(Screamed) I'll scream I need you
(Whispered) And throw out these fuckin' razors
Without you beside me
My lungs are failing
(Weak echoes) I surrendered my love to you
(Screamed) And you burned it to ash at my feet
End Verse:
You're here now
(Growled) Laying in the mud bleeding
There's only one thing to say,
(Screamed) I fucking love you.
I wish I could see her,
This beautiful desire
You love so much,
But my vision can't focus.
She must be stunning
From what I've heard,
But I still don't comprehend
What makes you love her.
You say it's her body,
You say it's her heart
But I know for a fact
You're just blinded by love.
I can't say I'm sorry
For being a fool
But your craving for her
Is beyond wht I know.
I don't know how you feel,
Late at night alone in bed
Maybe you think of her
Laying naked beside you.
I wish I could see her,
Skinny and small like you say
But I can't see anything,
Just a dark cloaked figure.
One day I might see her,
Skinny and beautiful,
But for now I'll say I love you
And wait till tomorrow comes.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Someone once said
Religion is the heart
Of the world we live in
Whoever said that was right,
We all hold on to something,
A power greater than humans.
We praise it while we live
So we can be with it when we die.
I worship the Devil,
Maybe it's a sin on Earth
But as far as I'm concerned
I'll be dancing my way to Hell
You can call me a threat
And burn me at the stake
But you're only doing me a favour,
Hell is my glorified Heaven.
Just because I believe in something bigger
Doesn't make me mentally ill.
You love a God dressed in white with a halo,
I love a God standing beside demonic angels
Yes, I've read the bible
No, it wasn't Christian,
It was of a dark lord
Who protects me for eternity
You can call me silly,
You can call me stupid
But I have a religion
That I'll always believe in.